Counterfeit Realism

We ask away our questions, brought together by hopes and dreams.
Lost in this world alone.
Focus on how to self express and become one with the world.
It leaves me alone. Abandoned in this beautiful artistic world I have created.
Who do I share my joy with?
Where do I say my anger?

The canvas of my heart is forever tainted.
I can not add another color, fresh hue or shade of hope.
For I am widowed in this world I have discovered.
It has brought me away from reality not any closer.
As I approach the things that have made me finer and closer to where I want to be. I am unsure what kind of universe I have composed.
When I try to connect the outside.
I am shunned and altered as queer and irregular.
Sometimes I dream of just being regular and normal with things the way I hoped when I was but nine.

I only dream to have the things I can not attain. Why is that?
Why have I become this demented goal seeker, and never content?
She brings light in my darkened eyes and hope and love for the future.
What have I become that my happiness depends on another?
I have become too accustomed and lonely in my own perfect illusion.
Sometimes I feel like I have been floating on clouds, the clouds from my evaporated tears.
And I still have not found the truth in wisdom. For you bring me out of my false dreams.

I have created this myriad of deception.
This reality that I title as real.